The Best ‘Bachelor in Paradise’ Recap You’ll Ever Read: Karma & Kristina Come For Blake Betches

THIS GUY?! Really? THIS GUY? Blake pulls Tayshia away from the group to clear the air because Kristina asked him to go on a date that day. He basically tells her he had a great time last night but given the chance he’s totally going to f*ck Kristina today. So sweet! Meanwhile, Caelynn continues to be horrified that the mediocre white man who ghosted her is somehow still popular with the ladies. Duh! Welcome to the real world, Caelynn! I’ve …

Get Your Sh*t Together – It’s Virgo Season: Weekly Horoscopes August 19-23 Betches

Welcome to Virgo season—do you have your day planner ready? Virgo is a sign that is known for very much having its sh*t together, meaning this month is the perfect time to clean up the (literal) hot mess that has been your summer. Harness some of that old back-to-school energy and get your life in order for fall. And yes, buying a new fall wardrobe totally counts as “harnessing back-to-school energy.” Your bank account might hate you, but whatever. You’re …

The Betches Bachelorette Guide To Charleston Betches

Planning sucks, and bachelorette parties are a ton of work. So we’re taking all the guesswork out of planning a bachelorette party by breaking down top bachelorette destinations. Our guides will tell you where to stay, eat, party, how to get around, and give you a sample itinerary that you can follow. You’re welcome. Charleston, South Carolina, is a hotbed of old money, history, amazing food, and ritzy shopping. If you aren’t into the blackout scene and want to take …

Everyone Is Boycotting Equinox & SoulCycle Because of Trump Betches

When you first hear that everyone is mad at Equinox and SoulCycle, you assume that it’s because the location they just went to was somehow out of Eucalyptus towels. Unfortunately, this past week has proved that these gyms can be doing much worse than just playing the same Kylie Minogue remixed song 15 times in two hours — their financial success could be indirectly benefitting the president. This first came to light after it was reported that Stephen Ross, a …

Return Of The Jezebels: The Handmaids Tale Recap Betches

There are two episodes left of Handmaid’s Tale season three, which is really too bad because I feel like they are just hitting their stride. It took us 10 episodes to figure out wtf this season was going to be about, but now we have it: June is going to help get an assload of kids out of Gilead. Feel like that could have been introduced in episode one. We open on muffins. 52 muffins, to be exact. Each one …

This Is What Happened When I Cut Out Sugar Betches

Pregnancy makes your body change in really weird ways. Huh. The more you know. You may suddenly crave things you’ve avoided for years, like Flamin’ Hot Cheetos (ily) or German potato salad (ily most of all). Disturbingly, you may also suddenly NOT crave things you’ve been literally addicted to for most of your adult life. This isn’t an essay where I detail how I got off hard drugs once I became pregnant. I’ve never been cool enough for hard drugs, …

Who Is Sharon Tate & Why Is Everyone Talking About Her? Betches

I first heard about the tragic fate of Sharon Tate at an age probably too young to be discussing mass murder, when my grandpa sat me down and told me the story of the time he punched Charles Manson in the face. My grandpa did a lot of drugs in the 1960’s, so I’m not entirely sure how true that story is, but nevertheless it primed me for a day like today, when I’d be asked to write this article. …

8 Celebrities Who Are Way Younger Than You Think Betches

This week, everyone is busy making their favorite celebrities look older with the FaceApp old filter, and it’s really gotten me thinking about celebrities’ ages. We’ve talked before about some celebs who basically don’t age, but not everyone is older than they look. There are certain stars who are surprisingly young, whether they just look mature for their age, or it feels like they’ve been around forever. While everyone knows you can stay young-looking by drinking lots of water, sticking …

Welcome to Leo Season: Weekly Horoscopes July 22-26 Betches

Welcome to Leo season, betch! Now is not the time for being shy or staying inside. Now is the time to be your most extra-extra self and hog as much of that spotlight as you possibly can! Leos are known as the performers of the zodiac, so don’t be surprised if you find yourself acting like a celeb this month. Just don’t get so cocky that you actually end up going live on Insta Story. Nobody wants to see that. …

Pluto And Venus Gang Up On Us: Weekend Horoscopes July 19-21 Betches

Welcome to the weekend, where, here in the U.S., we’re all v likely to die of heat exhaustion! Bless. But srsly, how long till fall, lol. This weekend, we’ve got Pluto and Venus teaming up, so that’ll mess up all kinds of sh*t for, well, most of us. From complicating relationships to making us feel all the feelings, we are gonna go through it this weekend. Luckily, Mercury making its way through Cancer from Friday until mid-August will even things …